My first still life: a moment of chaos, is what this photo should be named. I went into the studio knowing I had to complete a still life for class. I had ideas, like a thousand of them. I brought items for each idea, which, as you can imagine, meant I had a massive box of seemingly random things to sort through.

So, when I got there, with three hours to complete set-up, tear-down and shooting, I had to figure out where my focus was. I’m sure, in that moment, I looked like a lab rat going through a maze to locate the cheese, only I missed the cheese and kept hitting walls.

When I finally started setting up, after changing directions(literaly and figuratvely) no less than five times, I ended up with what was meant to be a writers desk. The artist who can’t focus and has three different ways they’re writing out a manuscrit, while also having various research materials on the desk, such as roses etc. By this point in writing, they have forgotten their coffee, havn’t touched it, have spilled ink everywhere when they knocked it down, and are generally just disjonted. Almost as if the writer has gone manic.

When I created this as a stll life, I thought of it as what I experience when writing or photographing or just doing art. I overlit this, as it was supposed to be a low key 5:1, which is something I am still struggling with. I also most definitly was informed this looked like a writer with a seizure. After turning it in I realized something more powerful, this may have been menat as a still life, but in many ways, it could actually be a self portrait into the chaos of my mind.